Heavy Seas-- The Great Pumpkin

Well, so much for improved diligence.

So, the Great Pumpkin, eh? Let's be clear, there are definitely a few things that are great about this beer: its name (nice homage to a Halloween classic), its size (you can only get them in 22oz bombers), and its coloring (when held against soft light after being poured in a glass, er, goblet, the beer projects multicolored layers of oranges and browns-- kind of like a tequila sunrise but with autumn colors). Another great thing about this beer is the story of how the Pumpking and I acquired it. While shopping at Beers of the World, a massive store which delivers everything promised in the name, we made a beeline for their special "seasonal beers" shelf to see what was new in pumpkindom. A lot, apparently. However, they only had one Heavy Seas bomber left in stock. I made to grab for it just as another fellow, less regal in countenance and dress, did the same. I beat him by seconds, and, after an awkward moment of staring at each other, he deferred to me, admitting that I won the beer "fair and square."

Good thing, because this is hardly a beer worth fighting over. Priced at about ten bucks a bomber, we were expecting great things from the Great Pumpkin, a beer described as "imperial" on a label which is otherwise sadly marred by superfluous pirate cliches. An example, you say? How about "Its Extraaaaaaaardninary," as the bearded sea-rat on the front of the bottle claims. If only.  The beer tastes, to an extraaaaardinary degree, like last year's disappointing Pumpking ale. That is, it starts off incredibly sweet upon initial taste, but the longer one allows it to linger over the palate, the more bitter it becomes. A study in contrasts is an interesting thing, naturally, but it lent this beer a certain mercurial flavor. It couldn't decide whether it wanted to please us with buttery, creamy pumpkin pie sweetness and light, or blast us with the imperial stout lurking beneath the surface. Ultimately, as we split the brew, it decided to try for both and achieved neither. The more our taste buds grew accustomed to Great Pumpkin, the more nondescript it became. By the half-way point of consumption, the beer became bland-- drinkable but not desirable. Quite a head-scratcher, really. Heavy Seas is a tricky little blighter to figure out, and in the end the effort is hardly justified.

In all, a strange creature of a beer. It's worth trying once if you're looking to make the rounds, but if you are only in the market for solid pumpkin beer pass this one by. B-/C+.